Journal Post 06-29-2014

Braden’s Surgery: Sunday's are such gratifying days, filled with fun, outdoor activities and catching up on the things that weren't done before now. My son Braden, who is four, is the reason I get up in the morning. He is just a beam of light wherever he is and with whomever. I have always thought to myself, I probably shouldn't try for a second child because there is absolutely no way I could get this lucky twice. He was the perfect baby and the pattern has continued. As a newborn, he never cried. I was always amazed when I would wake up in the middle of the night to feed him and he would just be staring at me, trying to figure out who in the world I was and what I was doing and after I would feed him he would drift soundly back to sleep. This continued until he was about 4 months old, then he found his lungs, even with the new want to cry he was still perfect. Braden was born with a congenital disorder called PFFD, or Proximal Focal Femoral Deficiency. It has never been confirmed but I believe completely that it was caused by being under constant radiation of my job and not being as safe as I should have been with my lead apron. I didn't realize I was pregnant until almost six weeks into the pregnancy and had I known before I would have protected myself and my son more appropriately. It took me a very long time to forgive myself. In my own eyes I was the one who caused him this disability, something he would have to endure multiple surgeries over in the future. We are one surgery down and this child is a walking miracle. He underwent a seven hour hip surgery, referred to by his surgeon as a "Super-Hip" he did amazing. I can't even imagine the terror I would have had as a four year old going under the knife. Braden rarely complained and when he did, I always knew his pain was severe, the angel only cried twice over the entire three month recovery.