Journal Post 07/04/2014

Happy Independence Day everyone! What a beautiful day it was too; we had such a great time in Battlefield, Missouri. The firework show was wonderful and the kids, of course, had the most fun of all. Sparklers and smoke bombs filled the air with sulfuric fumes, but no one cared, after all it is the 4th! There was one incident that I have to mention, the neighbors that live across the street from my brother-in-law and his family had an absolute fit because one of the kids at our party shot off a bottle rocket and the stick happened to land on the neighbor’s roof, then rolled off and landed in their yard. Wow, I have never seen tempers run so hot and so quickly. The fight of words was on, and they weren’t shy about which ones they wanted to use. I was mortified as my four year old son was with me at the road line where we had been setting off small smoke bombs and sparklers. After about the fifth MF-Bombs from the neighbors, I was done and covered Braden’s ears and headed inside with him until I could no longer hear screaming. Something that bothered me very much about the little temper flare was the complete disregard for the children in the area. You can’t spew obscenities and violence with little ears present. The worst offender was actually dragging a small child across the lawn towards all of us, around the age of 1, maybe 2 years old, all the while she was screaming at the tops of her lungs at my brother-in-law with every word in the book. It saddened my heart because this child did not even seem fazed. It seemed like she was used to this behavior, as in an opposite world from theirs, my son was almost in tears just catching the start of the altercation because he has never truly witnessed any sort of behavior like this and he was afraid.

Journal Post 07/03/2014

It is the day before Independence Day, and even though it is Thursday, courtesy the 4th landing on a Friday this year I will have a three day weekend. My son is so incredibly excited; we get to watch fireworks in Battlefield tomorrow. However I believe he is more excited about seeing his Aunt, Uncle and cousins at my brother and sister-in-law’s house. I am hoping it will be a small affair, but knowing my social butterfly sister-in-law she will have everyone and their brother’s mother attending. Many an adult drink will be passed and as usual I will pass. I have often wondered if they think I am “lame” since I don’t drink. My only particular vice comes from nicotine, and no one else in the family smokes…cigarettes anyway. Which is something else I am sure they think is bizarre, but my husband and I are the black sheep of both families, but they love us anyway. Anyway I learned something neat today in regards to how fireworks are made that I wanted to share with everyone: An aerial firework is normally formed as a shell that consists of four parts: • Container - Usually pasted paper and string formed into a cylinder • Stars - Spheres, cubes or cylinders of a sparkler-like composition • Bursting charge - Firecracker-like charge at the center of the shell • Fuse - Provides a time delay so the shell explodes at the right altitude How the colors occur: Metals used in fireworks today include aluminum, titanium, beryllium, barium, copper, potassium and more. Here's a look at the metals used to produce a specific color: • Red --Strontium and lithium • Orange --Calcium • Yellow -- Sodium • Green -- Barium • Blue -- Copper • Violet -- Potassium and rubidium • Gold -- Charcoal, iron or lampblack • White -- Titanium, aluminum, beryllium or magnesium powders

Journal Post 07/02/2014

PowerPoint Presentations today in my computer class. I have heard so many people talking about how incredibly anxious they are to speak publicly. I used to have that same phobia, when I was younger I would have rather pulled my hair out of my scalp than to speak in front of a crowd. However ever since I took a job at the Pain Management Center I have had absolutely no issue speaking in front of people. OK, actually I need to back up one year previous. I was working in the Endoscopy Lab inside Cox South, I was approached by my then manager, who I was not particularly fond of but was intrigued by what came out of her mouth. She asked if I wanted to be a part of the “Super Colon” expo that was taking place at the Battlefield Mall. This was about six or seven years ago. I was hesitant at first but nonetheless still intrigued. It would be an overtime paid work day and I wouldn’t have to step a single foot in one of our Endoscopy suites, where there is nothing but gassy behinds and gagging upper GI scopes. So needless to say I agreed. I spent eight hours that day talking to complete strangers about this walk-through segment of a colon and what all the parts were as well as what types of diseases can affect the colon and why it was so important to have a Colonoscopy either when you turn 50 or earlier if colon cancer runs in your family. Ever since that day I have not had a single problem addressing large groups of people. If that would have been the promise of every day of work in the Endoscopy unit I would still be there today, but as soon as I had the opportunity to get out, I was gone!

Journal Post 07/01/2014

    Unfortunately this is a terrible day; I am so disgusted I can hardly think. We had a patient this morning in our clinic walk up to the admission desk and make a comment to another patient who happened to be battling cancer this:, "you cancer people don't know how lucky you is, I can never get my hair to do what I want, I might just do it up like yours and shave my head...I guess you have cancer right?!" The poor lady (who had cancer) was so classy, rather than winding up and punching that lady in the face, she just sweetly smiled and went about her business without addressing her verbal abuser. Later I had to ask her how she kept her composure; she simply said this, "honey you can't fix stupid, her ignorance has to be worse than my cancer." What a statement that was. She was so calm, it absolutely amazed me, it made me think about the things that upset me on a daily basis that are not actually problems and I need to take a step back and praise God for how lucky I am. For goodness sake, I am healthy, I have a beautiful family, a stable job, a roof over my head and I am able to keep my families bellies full. Things that I take for granite every day and I should be so ashamed for doing so. I thought about what I might have done had I been in the sweet lady’s position today and someone had  said something so offensive and rude to me; I can assure anyone reading this that I would not have had the same composure, but what would I have gained from this? The answer is nothing, maybe a sore fist, but the ignorant woman would still be ignorant and she will undoubtedly say something rude to another person on another day. I can only pray for her and learn from her.

Journal Post 06/30/2014

Crime, it’s all around us, the news stations love it. It occurs on a daily basis and whether we like it or not our days are usually impacted by it in one way or another. We might see a clip on the news about an armed robbery during our pre-work rituals or a break at lunch taken looking at SpringfieldMugShots.com to see if anyone from high school or a family member is in the tank. It is absolutely everywhere. My question is; can we do anything about it? It may just be me or the boom of social media letting everyone know about what all is going on in the world but I feel like crime is increasing. It is scary to think that our children are being pushed into this ever changing world of hate and violence. Where school shootings are just as horrific to hear about, but not as shell shocking as they once were. What is happening? Is it the video games, the movies? Is it bad parenting or drugs? No one can say for sure. There are studies everywhere blaming one of the things I listed above but nothing solid. So how can we battle a problem if we don’t know the cause is? We can’t, right? Wrong. Or at least I think so; we have been given some amazing tools in our lifetimes. Social media is becoming more than just a gossip zone, it is making people aware. It gives officers clues and in some incidences it has brought criminals to their appropriate punishments. We have to be proactive as citizens and parents. We have to use our voices and the tools in front of us. Otherwise we join the sheep in the stadium and watch helplessly, and one of these days we may not have the luxury of being sheep, instead we will be involved and we will surely wish our peers are doing the same for us.

Journal Post 06-29-2014

Braden’s Surgery: Sunday's are such gratifying days, filled with fun, outdoor activities and catching up on the things that weren't done before now. My son Braden, who is four, is the reason I get up in the morning. He is just a beam of light wherever he is and with whomever. I have always thought to myself, I probably shouldn't try for a second child because there is absolutely no way I could get this lucky twice. He was the perfect baby and the pattern has continued. As a newborn, he never cried. I was always amazed when I would wake up in the middle of the night to feed him and he would just be staring at me, trying to figure out who in the world I was and what I was doing and after I would feed him he would drift soundly back to sleep. This continued until he was about 4 months old, then he found his lungs, even with the new want to cry he was still perfect. Braden was born with a congenital disorder called PFFD, or Proximal Focal Femoral Deficiency. It has never been confirmed but I believe completely that it was caused by being under constant radiation of my job and not being as safe as I should have been with my lead apron. I didn't realize I was pregnant until almost six weeks into the pregnancy and had I known before I would have protected myself and my son more appropriately. It took me a very long time to forgive myself. In my own eyes I was the one who caused him this disability, something he would have to endure multiple surgeries over in the future. We are one surgery down and this child is a walking miracle. He underwent a seven hour hip surgery, referred to by his surgeon as a "Super-Hip" he did amazing. I can't even imagine the terror I would have had as a four year old going under the knife. Braden rarely complained and when he did, I always knew his pain was severe, the angel only cried twice over the entire three month recovery.

Journal Post 06-28-2014

Well, still no full nights sleep, but I am here at the library typing up this post. It is frustrating, I should be at home playing with my son and working on the lawn. Fortunately my super wonderful husband takes care of almost everything, including the cleaning of our house. I can't help but count my blessings, he is so incredibly wonderful and I don't know what I would do without his love and support. I don't know of any man out there that works harder than David. He usually has 16 hour days as a carpenter. Always in the middle of the weather, rain, snow, heat, etc. He just never complains. I am a lucky woman, no doubt about that!

I am hoping to be done with this homework within the hour. Why can’t work weeks be from Mon-Tuesday and the weekend be Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday? That seems more fair. I mean I would still only work eight hour days I would just like to be paid for a forty hour work week. I suppose that will never happen. I guess I will just enjoy the weekend I have and make the two tiny days count. I am already thinking about next weekend, it will be one of those "great white buffalo" weekends where I actually get three days off instead of just two. I may dedicate one of those days specifically to sleeping. I can feel my eyes getting heavy even as I am typing this, and it’s not like I have a newborn in the house, I have just absolutely lost the ability to shut my mind off at night. It’s terrible and exhausting, but it is something I have always had to deal with this in one way or another. I think I am going to head to the store now and buy some melatonin. Until tomorrow my friends.