I have truly enjoyed writing the journal posts. Not only is it a great release, it is an excellent way to improve flow and efficiency while writing. I have even noticed that the way I form sentences has improved and my typing speed and accuracy too. I have gone from having to peak at the keyboard to not looking at all; even with punctuation.
I think this is one of the greatest tools we have in this course. It forces you to stop what you are doing and just start writing, and the more you focus and just keep writing the more efficient you become.
I was so proud of some of my posts, others I felt like I could have done better on, or found a better topic, but the ones about family and friends were awesome. Being able to express my love for my family was so fulfilling.
The thing I think I have improved most on, is my ability to summarize a well formed sentence. I had a real problem getting to 'wordy' when describing certain things.
Posting to a blog is much like talking to a therapist, you are able to express yourself in your own way, and that is very special. I am still amazed at the difference in my writing, I can actually organize my thoughts as I am writing. This was something I struggled with greatly, and I do still have a small problem trying to keep thoughts in chronological order; however between this and the essays we've been writing the repition of organization is becoming a great asset.
The resources we have available are astounding, I would have never thought coming into this class that I would have learned so much and had so many tools at my fingertips.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Journal Post 07/20/2014
The news I received today, shook me to the core. The woman who helped raise my sister and myself has been diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer. She is not well and the prognosis is not positive.
This woman is inspiring, never in my life have I seen someone with more skill raising children. She taught my sister and myself how to read before we were even in school and she taught us how to unleash our creativity,
She has even taken up watching my son, and just the one on one time she spends with him, he is head over heels for her. He is such a smart boy and with her expertise, he just excels.
The past six or seven years, sweet Mika has been living her own personal hell. Her worthless daughter moved herself, her husband and her two children into her home. Not only that, her daughter expects her to raise the children, even though she is "disabled" and cannot work. The oldest, is a boy and is about 13 years old. He has serious mental issues, he is borderline psychotic and it breaks Mika's heart that even with her gift with children, she cannot reach this one. He is too far gone. The emotional abuse he took from his mother and all of her different boyfriends and this last husband before he divorced her as severely destroyed this childs life. I am afraid there is no reversing these issues. I am terrified that he will hurt Mika one of these days, I love her dearly and I will do anything in the world for her.
This woman is inspiring, never in my life have I seen someone with more skill raising children. She taught my sister and myself how to read before we were even in school and she taught us how to unleash our creativity,
She has even taken up watching my son, and just the one on one time she spends with him, he is head over heels for her. He is such a smart boy and with her expertise, he just excels.
The past six or seven years, sweet Mika has been living her own personal hell. Her worthless daughter moved herself, her husband and her two children into her home. Not only that, her daughter expects her to raise the children, even though she is "disabled" and cannot work. The oldest, is a boy and is about 13 years old. He has serious mental issues, he is borderline psychotic and it breaks Mika's heart that even with her gift with children, she cannot reach this one. He is too far gone. The emotional abuse he took from his mother and all of her different boyfriends and this last husband before he divorced her as severely destroyed this childs life. I am afraid there is no reversing these issues. I am terrified that he will hurt Mika one of these days, I love her dearly and I will do anything in the world for her.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Journal Post 07/19/2014
Weekend is here again, that you good sweet Lord! I am taking my son to the drive in tonight, they are playing Planes II and Earth to Echo. Braden is so excited, he has been telling it to the kittens in the house. He is so funny. I don't know what I am going to do without him in a week. I won't have anymore classes until the fall and he will be with his Meemaw and cousin for the entire week of the 27th. He is also very excited about that.
I am worried about my Mom though, I feel like she is taking on way too much with the kids and her mother for the week. She will be traveling to and from the fair, Branson, movies, putt putt, the list goes on and on. She is superwoman though, she always has been. She preached a great message to us growing up, she was never crazy about housework. Not a chore nazi either, she later told me when I was older that if it was between doing laundry or taking us to do something fun, she would push the laundry aside and let us go play.
I am worried about my Mom though, I feel like she is taking on way too much with the kids and her mother for the week. She will be traveling to and from the fair, Branson, movies, putt putt, the list goes on and on. She is superwoman though, she always has been. She preached a great message to us growing up, she was never crazy about housework. Not a chore nazi either, she later told me when I was older that if it was between doing laundry or taking us to do something fun, she would push the laundry aside and let us go play.
Friday, July 18, 2014
Journal Post 07/18/2014
My dad, he is an incredible man. He's an impressive stature, standing at six foot three, about three hundred pounds of muscle, minus the belly he has gained over the years. Never in my life did I not feel safe having Dad around. He was always there for me. As he has gotten older he has lost his patience. Which is really strange, I would think the patience would increase as he aged.
My son adores him, calls him Papa, which was such a special name, it is what my sister and I called our Grandpa (the only one we knew) He passes away when Braden was 2 months old. It was the most painful heart wrenching moment I have had in my life thus far. I remember running into the house when my sister called to tell me "Papa had a heart attack" and it's not good.
I ran into the door, passing Braden to my sister and the image I saw will forever be burned into my mind. My sweet Papa, laying on the floor with no color in his face, three EMS workers surrounded him, they were doing CPR feverishly and with precise perfect rhythm. My mom was sitting at his head holding his airway open. They were doing everything they could. It wasn't enough, I was balling. I screamed for them to keep going. Someone grabbed me, I still don't know who it was that embraced me but I collapsed. I don't remember anything but waking up on the couch. Praying what I had witnessed was just a dream. It was not, my grandpa passed away that evening and not a day goes by that I do not miss that man. He was the person in my family I am absolutely the closest to. I visit his grave when I can muster up the courage but I know he is not there. He is with Jesus, and I rejoice in the fact I WILL see him again and that he is watching over me and my family.
My son adores him, calls him Papa, which was such a special name, it is what my sister and I called our Grandpa (the only one we knew) He passes away when Braden was 2 months old. It was the most painful heart wrenching moment I have had in my life thus far. I remember running into the house when my sister called to tell me "Papa had a heart attack" and it's not good.
I ran into the door, passing Braden to my sister and the image I saw will forever be burned into my mind. My sweet Papa, laying on the floor with no color in his face, three EMS workers surrounded him, they were doing CPR feverishly and with precise perfect rhythm. My mom was sitting at his head holding his airway open. They were doing everything they could. It wasn't enough, I was balling. I screamed for them to keep going. Someone grabbed me, I still don't know who it was that embraced me but I collapsed. I don't remember anything but waking up on the couch. Praying what I had witnessed was just a dream. It was not, my grandpa passed away that evening and not a day goes by that I do not miss that man. He was the person in my family I am absolutely the closest to. I visit his grave when I can muster up the courage but I know he is not there. He is with Jesus, and I rejoice in the fact I WILL see him again and that he is watching over me and my family.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Journal Post 07/17/2014
I have a serious problem. I absolutely do not know how to keep my son from sneaking into my bed at night. It has truly put a damper on when my husband and I can be a "married couple." I absolutely cannot figure out how this started. From the moment he was a newborn until about eight months ago he slept by himself without question or a problem. It was a wonderful time that I reminisce about on many occasions. I really use to be able to lay him down in his crib at 7:30 PM or 8 PM, listen to him on the baby monitor and he would be asleep within ten minutes. Then twelve hours late he would wake up, bright eyed and busy tailed. Where have my days of restful nights, without an elbow or a knee in my back gone? I miss being able to roll over and not have my head yanked backwards because there is 40 pounds of little boy lying on my long hair.
I have a theory, my Grandma, Braden's great Grandma, has been using an old scary story on all of us for at least 27 years. She used to tell us there was a "Fido" in her room to keep us out of there. Well I have come to find out, she has been telling my poor little son, the same horrifying stories. I have asked Braden several times why he comes into my bedroom at night and he says the same thing: "I was scared"
I am hoping I have a solution to our almost one year problem, I have some kittens now and I am hoping they will fill the void of fear in my son's mind while he sleeps!
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Journal Post 07/16/2014
The semester is almost over, this class and my computer class for the summer has been so crazy busy. It is a lot of work, but it is very much worth it. If I ever get discouraged I think about my son. He is in every way my rock. The reason I get up in the morning and at the same time, the reason I collapse I am so sleepy at night. I wouldn't have it any other way.
The day I had Braden is a day I will never forget for many reasons. The birth was horrific, I was petrified. I had been brought in the night before to start the induction and it was a blessing that I was. As Braden started to descend into my pelvis, he was cryshing his umbilical cord. His heart rate would slow to nearly a stop and the nurses would frantically reposition me until they got him back. One of the nurses ran outside the door to call for the doctor, and like a gift from God, she was already standing outside the door, about to walk in. She did a 10 second assessment of the situation and told the nurses to get me to OR STAT! It was time to go and the nurses worked feverishly. They had me in the OR within 2 minutes. I was sitting on the edge of the OR table slouched over, waiting for the Anesthesiologist to put in my spinal block, however it did not take. I was still moving my legs and was able to feel every little thing they were doing to me. We had ran out of time, it was time to do it and I grabbed my Mom's hand and looked at my doctor with tears in my eyes, and told her to save my son. I cannot explain what that blade felt like going across my skin, but it was the most intense pain I have ever experienced in my entire life. I good feel the ripping and tearing and they pulled the skin apart to retrieve Braden. I was screaming and the next thing I see is white lights and my daddy's face. They had put me out during the Cesarean Section and I was waking up in recovery, I was alive and more importantly my son was alive and he was perfect-still is.
The day I had Braden is a day I will never forget for many reasons. The birth was horrific, I was petrified. I had been brought in the night before to start the induction and it was a blessing that I was. As Braden started to descend into my pelvis, he was cryshing his umbilical cord. His heart rate would slow to nearly a stop and the nurses would frantically reposition me until they got him back. One of the nurses ran outside the door to call for the doctor, and like a gift from God, she was already standing outside the door, about to walk in. She did a 10 second assessment of the situation and told the nurses to get me to OR STAT! It was time to go and the nurses worked feverishly. They had me in the OR within 2 minutes. I was sitting on the edge of the OR table slouched over, waiting for the Anesthesiologist to put in my spinal block, however it did not take. I was still moving my legs and was able to feel every little thing they were doing to me. We had ran out of time, it was time to do it and I grabbed my Mom's hand and looked at my doctor with tears in my eyes, and told her to save my son. I cannot explain what that blade felt like going across my skin, but it was the most intense pain I have ever experienced in my entire life. I good feel the ripping and tearing and they pulled the skin apart to retrieve Braden. I was screaming and the next thing I see is white lights and my daddy's face. They had put me out during the Cesarean Section and I was waking up in recovery, I was alive and more importantly my son was alive and he was perfect-still is.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Journal Post 07/15/2014
I wanted to talk about my mother in this blog post. She is an incredible woman, you will never in your life find a person who loves animals as much as her. If you have ever cried during commercial about the ASPCA, my mother has almost fallen in the floor balling. She currently has a variance shelter license. On her seven acres, she has over 30 dogs and 35 cats. They are all happy and healthy. Each animal is individually given their shots, medicine and flea control. Not only all that, she makes her own dog food to go over the dry food. She leaves dry food out for each of them 24/7. I know she has to spend a fortune a year on all this stuff, but she wouldn't change a thing. She loves each of them individually and knows their favorite place for a belly scratch.
This woman is beyond words kind. I have seen her stop traffic on a busy main road in Springfield, because she was saving a puppy. That happened about ten years ago and she still has sweet little Baby.
Thinking of Baby's name, made me want to point out that each one of her dogs has a name that starts with a 'B.' This has been tradition for as long as I can remember.
This same woman, works harder than anyone I know. I don't think I have ever seen her take a sick day. She has been a registered nurse for 30 years, and if you ever wanted a nurse in a bad time, she is the one you want. She is compassionate, caring and absolutely brilliant. She is currently the Director of Ambulatory Services at one of the main hospitals. She is an inspiration to me and to anyone who crosses her path.
This woman is beyond words kind. I have seen her stop traffic on a busy main road in Springfield, because she was saving a puppy. That happened about ten years ago and she still has sweet little Baby.
Thinking of Baby's name, made me want to point out that each one of her dogs has a name that starts with a 'B.' This has been tradition for as long as I can remember.
This same woman, works harder than anyone I know. I don't think I have ever seen her take a sick day. She has been a registered nurse for 30 years, and if you ever wanted a nurse in a bad time, she is the one you want. She is compassionate, caring and absolutely brilliant. She is currently the Director of Ambulatory Services at one of the main hospitals. She is an inspiration to me and to anyone who crosses her path.
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